


Dates

by kjonginexo



Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Angst, Happy Ending, M/M, fluff here and there, junmyeon doesn't even have lines, like they're just there for this plot to make sense, pining angst, sad angst, sekai - Freeform, suhun is the very very very side ship, super amazing chankai platonic relationship, the end game is sekai okay
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-13
Updated: 2017-08-13
Packaged: 2018-12-14 19:51:56
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 9,001
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11790273
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kjonginexo/pseuds/kjonginexo
Summary: Jongin helps Sehun get ready for all his dates by picking out his outfits and telling him he looks good, which wouldn't be a problem except Jongin is head over heels in love with his best friend Oh Sehun.





	Dates

Jongin sat on Sehun’s bed, he felt closed off and uncomfortable, hands fidgeting in his lap like it was the first time he had ever been here before. That could be the furthest from the truth, he had known Sehun now for five years and in fact Jongin spend a good amount of time sleeping in the bed next to the other male since they were best friends. He was trying not to show it as Sehun babbled on about how he met whoever he’s going on a date with now, flinging clothes off the hanger to hold it up to his body in the mirror. It was easy for Jongin to hide his feelings, he had been doing it now for three years.

He looked up at the other who was now standing in his rather large closet, a pout on his pretty light pink thin lips. Jongin felt his closed off persona fade at the sight alone, heart warm and picking up it’s pace in his chest until he remembered Sehun was seeing someone else, and suddenly his heart went cold. “Sehun, you look pretty in anything you wear.” He spoke quietly, making sure his head didn’t jerk away like it was really wanting to.

Sehun looked beautiful now, broad shoulders sat snug in the tight black tee shirt that made his milky skin look paler than usual. High set cheekbones glowing beneath the bright light of his closet, narrow eyes looking over at Jongin with his fingers messing through his black hair, pretty thin pink lips curling into a smile. “Thanks, Nini. I just want to make a good impression you know?” Jongin nodded, of course he would know.

He didn’t mean to fall in love with Sehun, it happened over the course of the five years. The first year was simple, they were both in university together, dorm mates, and naturally they became friends over talking about dogs. Their bond grew stronger as they went out for friend dates to ramen restaurants or bubble tea places, avoiding parties together to watch a horror movie or romantic comedy (depending on which side the coin landed on), looking off each other’s notes and studying together. Late night cuddling, hand holding, hugs that lasted and lingered. Unfortunately, Jongin’s heart didn’t catch the hint that it was all platonic, their connection was all completely platonic. He fell quickly after that, he didn’t know when and where he started to feel the feelings of love or how he started to even realize he was.

He heard somewhere that falling in love was like going to sleep, slowly and then all at once. He thought the line was stupid and cliche until he realized it had happened to him. It hit him like a ton of bricks during their infamous movie nights, Sehun slightly buzzed off cheap beer from the convenient store just two buildings away. He was giggling at something a character said, Jongin couldn’t remember the line since his ears were only adjusted to the bubbles of sweet sounding giggles leaving Sehun’s lips, and how pretty he looked with his eyes crinkled on the sides, nose wrinkled up. It hit him then, hard like an anvil fell on his shoulders completely.

He doesn’t regret falling in love with his best friend, he doesn’t regret thinking about Sehun often or making sure to take time out of his schedule to see him on the daily, or make sure he’s available at the others beck and call. He does regret the side effects of falling in love with him, one of them being Sehun going on a date like he is tonight. He was going on a date with some guy named Junmyeon, and surely he sounded nice but Jongin couldn’t stop the recurring thought about how this guy wasn’t Jongin, but he kept that to himself, he’d always keep it to himself.

“Move.” Jongin sighed, selfless behavior was something he hated about himself as well, it made him a little sick to his stomach that he would bend and make himself plea to whatever Sehun needed. Sehun didn’t argue, stepping out of the way to let Jongin into the closet, replacing the dip in the bed with his own lithe body. Jongin’s eyes scanned the variety of clothes, he thought it was ridiculous that  Sehun could never find anything to wear when the fashion empire would be simply envious of the latter’s wardrobe. His fingers pushed the clothes out of the way, pulling out a leather jacket that wasn’t too heavy, a white t-shirt, and black skinny jeans that had a few rips here and there. It was edgier than Sehun would ever dress, but he knew it would look beautiful on him. Black was definitely one of Sehun’s colors. “Go with this.”

Jongin spoke, trying to sound normal and happy for his best friend instead of miserably sad and meek. Sehun shrugged, taking the hangers between his thinner fingers, stepping in front of the body mirror to change. Jongin’s eyes were anywhere but the slender strong and toned back, looking at the pictures of the two made his heart hurt, but he couldn’t basically eye fuck Sehun. “I look great in this.” Sehun commented after a few minutes which gave Jongin the hint to look over. His smile was tight, but Sehun didn’t seem to notice. He really did look so beautiful, jeans fitting snug on his averagely filled thighs, t-shirt fitted to his skin and jacket resting comfortably on his shoulders. “

You really do, I’ll get going now. Call or text when you’re back.” Jongin stood up, hands shoving into his pocket to pull out his phone. “What are you going to do while I’m out?” Sehun asked quietly. Jongin didn’t have any plans, but he needed to do something, he didn’t want to go out, so he figured he’d go bother his other close friend Chanyeol. “I’m going to go see Chanyeol.” He typed out a text, letting the other know he was coming over which the gangly male responded with ‘doors open’. “Right, Chanyeol.” Sehun’s tone was faltered, but Jongin didn’t want to pretend he was hearing a difference. “Have fun okay?”

 

Chanyeol was true to his word about the door being open. It took all of twenty minutes to walk over, he was holding back tears, refusing to let them out, refusing to cry over his best friend going on a date. He was mad at himself though for falling in love with someone who wouldn’t fall in love back. He thought it was dumb of him to do, he couldn’t believe he let his feelings go that far but then again, feelings are an uncontrollable variable of being human.

“Hey, are you okay?” Chanyeol’s baritone voice shook him from his self loathing and pity, Jongin’s eyes looked up at the wider ones staring down at him. Chanyeol was taller than Jongin by an inch, long neck, gangly and thin with pretty legs, large hands and probably one of the biggest hearts he has ever seen a human have. “He’s going on a date tonight, and I actually picked out his outfit. I picked it out like he was going with me or something but like, he looked really great in it so he’ll have a good date.” His voice was more broken than he planned on letting out, eyes now looking down at his feet as Chanyeol closed the space between them with a gentle hug. Jongin brought his toned arms around Chanyeol’s waist, fingers hooking into the others loose shirt. His face was buried in the warm strong chest in front of him, squeezing Chanyeol in his grips as the large hand rubbed his back soothingly. “It’ll be okay, c’mon, we’ll watch whatever horror movie you want.” Jongin smiled at that.

Chanyeol came after Sehun, they met at work since Jongin was giving dance lessons and Chanyeol was in desperate need. Jongin liked the sense of humor the clumsy man had so they hit it off and became friends. They were almost as affectionate as Sehun and Jongin were, they didn’t cuddle at night though, and didn’t give platonic kisses on the cheeks, but they both definitely held hands and were cuddly with one another. For some reason, Jongin could tell the difference between platonic and romantic when it came to Chanyeol, like there was an unspoken boundary and that boundary held true to the two. With Sehun, the line was blurred since day one. It was odd though to Jongin since Sehun was always weary of Chanyeol, for no good reason either. Sehun would be friendly with Chanyeol, talk to him, make jokes, hang out with them, but he would always get weird if Jongin was going over to his house. Chanyeol insists it’s jealousy, Jongin argues it’s that Sehun’s attention is being cut into for Chanyeol.

Jongin was curled into the old worn out, yet comfortable dark grey couch. He decided to watch the third purge movie since it got good reviews and he was a fan of the series itself. “Are you feeling alright?” Jongin nodded, flashing Chanyeol a genuine smile. “Thank you, sorry for coming over sad all the time.” Chanyeol’s hearty loud laugh filled the space with a happier vibe, which Jongin was very grateful for since being surrounded by his own sadness was thick and suffocating. “You don’t come over sad all the time shut up you big dork.” Chanyeol sat the phone down and plugged it into his charger before lumbering himself over on the couch, arm thrown over Jongin’s shoulder for Jongin to lean into his side. A relaxed sigh fell from his lips while the clumsy soothing hand messed with his hair. He liked this, he thought this was nice and relaxing, how he would prefer his friendships to be instead of feeling a constant burning want and desire fuel in his chest just to be able to have a sliver of Sehun’s affection he gives to random dates.

“I can literally hear your brain overworking in there.” Chanyeol chuckled, Jongin turned his head and their noses were so close they could bump. It wasn’t anything new since Chanyeol was this close with all his friends, he wasn’t alarmed like he would be if it were Sehun. “I was just thinking about how I like our friendship. That it doesn’t feel suffocating or anything. Not that being friends with Sehun is suffocating or difficult but being in love with him kind of puts a little bit of an extra kick to everything, and I analyze everything. I don’t think much when I’m hanging around you. I don’t really think about the things I think about when I’m with Sehun. Sure, I think about Sehun around you but like, not in the same way, I guess.” He finished softly, matching Chanyeol’s smile.

“You’re a dork. I like our friendship too, Jongin. You love him a whole bunch, I think you need to tell him.” Jongin shook his head now, quickly and pulled his head back so his nose wouldn’t wreck into Chanyeol’s. “Are you crazy? Why would I tell him? He doesn’t love me back, clearly, judging by the dates he goes on, and it’d ruin everything. I’d lose him.” The only thought worse than Sehun dating someone else is no Sehun at all, a thought Jongin rarely came across and didn’t ever want to think about or consider happening. Chanyeol rolled his eyes, pushing his hair back from Jongin’s eyes. “I still think you should tell him so he knows and maybe you won’t have to pick clothes for his dates anymore.” Jongin shook his head, dipping his face in the crook of his neck. His eyes slipped closed to the gentle fingers combing through his hair, ignoring the movie as he listened to Chanyeol’s hum lull him to sleep and away from the painful thoughts of Sehun on his date.

 

“He’s here, he’s fine.” Jongin stirred slightly to the husky whisper of Chanyeol’s voice, he kept his eyes closed, he wasn’t ready to wake up. “I’m whispering because he fell asleep with his face in my neck and I don’t feel like waking him up.” Jongin mentally told Chanyeol it was too late for that, but he didn’t, he kept his eyes closed in a determination to go back to bed. “Why do you always sound so mad when I pick up his phone when he’s at _my_ house, Sehun?” Jongin’s eyes lazily opened now, lifting his head from Chanyeol’s neck and rubbed at the back of his own. He stared over at Chanyeol who looked annoyed and irritated, something he doesn’t see often of the other. “He’s awake now, would you like to speak to him?” Jongin opened his hand for his phone to rest in it, and Chanyeol complied trying his best to smile at Jongin.

“Hi Sehunnie, how was your date?” Sehun hummed quietly into the phone. “Boring, he talked about stuff I really didn’t care about, and he acted like one of those embarrassing dads you see on memes. Plus he didn’t even appreciate my outfit, I know I look really good.” Jongin cracked a faint smile at that, back of his wrist resting against one eye brimming with tears. “You’re home now right?” His voice was quieter than before. “I’m home, I’ll see you tomorrow?” Jongin nodded before realizing the other couldn’t see him. “Yeah, see you. Be nicer to Chanyeol please.” Sehun scoffed into the phone. “Yes Jongin, I’ll be nicer to Chanyeol.” Jongin hummed. “Thank you, goodnight Sehun.”

He hung up setting the phone down on his lap, sniffling quietly as he lifted himself off the couch, wiping at the tears. “I’ll go home now, I’m tired and I’m sure you are, and um.” Chanyeol shook his head, fingers curling around Jongin’s wrist with a light brush of his fingertips against the soft skin. “I know I’m not Sehun, but you’re going to stay in my bed and cuddle with me, tomorrow morning we’ll invite Sehun for breakfast and then you can part ways with him. I’m not going to let you go home crying. Let’s go into my room, okay?” Jongin sunk his teeth into his full bottom lip, looking at the door for a short moment as a hesitated breath fell past his lips. He nodded, following Chanyeol into his bedroom.

He stripped out of his jeans and shirt, taking the oversized blue hoodie that had ‘sexual fantasies’ written in red letters across the chest. It was huge on him, but he liked it, it was rather comfortable. He crawled into the bed silently, sniffles leaving him every now and then as he was huddled beneath the blanket. The lights flickered out and a dip into the bed of Chanyeol’s weight was present along with a long arm over his torso shortly after. Jongin scoot against Chanyeol’s chest, face blindly navigating in the darkness he hadn’t adjusted to find the crook of Chanyeol’s neck. His arm draped over Chanyeol’s waist, breathing in the sandalwood cologne that was faded into the bed sheets and blankets of the rather cool and comfortable bed.

“Why were you crying, Jonginnie?” Chanyeol’s voice was soft and gentle, barely above a whisper which was a shock to the younger male since his loud voice was hardly ever contained. It was like if he spoke loud, Jongin would get spooked and bolt, he didn’t want his second best friend to feel that way. “I love him, a lot. Hearing about his dates, getting him ready for them, talking to him about them the next day, it’s such a process and it wears me out. I love loving him, I do, but the side effects are a lot.”

Chanyeol’s cheek moved from the side of Jongin’s head, soon the hot breath from his nostrils were hitting Jongin’s cheek. His eyes were slightly adjusted now and he could see the gleam and shine from the other’s eyes from the faint silver light of the moon peeking through the black curtains. “I understand, I’m always here for you, okay?” Jongin nodded, smiling softly at Chanyeol before slipping his face back in the crook of his neck to drift into another peaceful sleep again.

 

Walking into the diner to see Sehun sitting was a new feeling. He was used to sitting next to Sehun and smiling up at Chanyeol, but now here he was next to Chanyeol, looking at Sehun scrolling through his phone stoically and displeased. His mouth went dry, even though Sehun looked so pissed off and annoyed, he looked so pretty all at the same time. His hair was tousled lazily with a few pieces of hair styled to look out of place. He was wearing one of Jongin’s t-shirts he managed to steal out of his house, it was a worn out black and grey one but Sehun wore it and made it look like it was straight out of a store.

He felt a warm large hand rest on the back of his neck, then a faint breath hit his ear. “Come on, I get that he’s nice to look at but some of us are hungry.” Jongin giggled, slapping Chanyeol playfully on the bicep smiling up at him. The giggle seemed to have captured Sehun’s attention, his head was lazily lifted from his phone to look at the two. Jongin was being ushered over to the table by the guiding hand of Chanyeol. Chanyeol sat down in the booth across Sehun, and as usual, Jongin sat down next to Sehun.

He felt Sehun’s hand slide into his own with a tight and quick lace of their fingers. Sehun held his hand tightly with a few squeezes to it, turning his head to smile at him as his eyes seemed to roam elsewhere on him. Jongin’s face heated at the eye contact, but Chanyeol’s voice interrupted the quiet moment that made Jongin’s breath still in his throat. “I didn’t mark him up, if that’s what you’re looking for.” He was teasing, it was evident in his voice. Sehun turned his head with a faint chuckle. “Just making sure, I need something to tease at breakfast don’t I?” Jongin knew they were joking but he couldn’t stop his heart from racing at the thought of Sehun checking if Jongin was marked by Chanyeol for anything more than to make a few jokes.

“How was your date?” Chanyeol asked, eyes scanning through the menu but his voice gave way that he was genuinely interested. At the mention of the date, Sehun’s hand loosened in Jongin’s, but it stayed in their grip. “Boring, but I mean, I have another one coming soon. First dates are poor judgment of character, he could’ve been nervous.” Sehun shrugged, now taking his hand from Jongin’s to type out a text message. Jongin forced his eyes down onto the plain text of the menu, reading between eggs or pancakes, bacon and sausage, ignoring the pain of his heart.

At this point it felt like a bruise was being constantly poked at, sometimes pressing harder and longer than he felt was necessary. “When’s the next one?” Chanyeol asked, and Jongin could practically hear the sympathy towards Jongin for even asking, but Jongin also wanted to know, so his eyes lifted to give Chanyeol a small look of ‘ _it’s okay, you’re okay, it’s all okay._ ’ “I think maybe Friday, I’m pretty sure. Jongin, you’ll help me get ready right?” Jongin looked over at Sehun who was flashing him a smile. Though, the smile was something he couldn’t really read on, he couldn’t tell if it was happiness or something deeper than that. “Actually, Jongin is going to be with me, I was asking you what day so maybe you could join us, but maybe another time.”

Chanyeol ended sweetly. Sehun still looked at Jongin, the smile was faltering into something of sadness. “I, um, I’ll be a little late, Yeol. I’m gonna help Sehunnie.” He looked at Chanyeol, who hesitantly nodded but he could feel Sehun’s hand find Jongin’s again, squeezing it tightly, like if he let go Jongin would float away. “Thank you. I promise I won’t keep him any later than 7:30.” Sehun’s tone was bittersweet as he looked at Chanyeol, and Jongin’s eyes scanned between the two, things he couldn’t pick up on. “I’ll still be there, promise.” Chanyeol flashed Jongin a sweet smile and the three moved on from the topic that was somehow making the table tense.

Jongin hugged Chanyeol goodbye, listening to Chanyeol tell him the door will be open on Friday, to which Jongin smiled at him for and gave him one last subtle squeeze. The way  Sehun’s hand immediately held onto Jongin’s after his hands were available was life or death, now more than ever if he let go Jongin would float, so Jongin thought. Chanyeol gave Sehun a wave before walking out the restaurant.

“Sehun, you know he’s not replacing you right?” Jongin spoke quietly, looking over at Sehun who turned his head to look at him. His hand didn’t loosen up, in fact he looked at their hands with a faint shrug. “No one can replace me, I know what I mean to you. Um, I guess… I don’t like that your attention isn’t all on me now. Are you two a thing or something?” Sehun asked nonchalantly, as usual, there was no sense of urgency that Jongin seemed to feel himself spilling past his lips when he asked about any of Sehun’s dates. “No, just friends.” Sehun nodded, smile tight, but Jongin let it go, he always let it go.

 

Friday rolled around too fast and there Jongin was, in Sehun’s wardrobe picking out another outfit. He was biting harshly on the inside of his cheek to keep the flood of tears in, his phone dinged giving him a brief moment of distraction thankfully. ‘Baekhyun is over, he brought food, please don’t kill me?’ Jongin giggled at that, sniffling quietly and momentarily forgot his composure. “Who’s that?” Sehun asked, coming behind Jongin to rest his hands on his hips, chin resting on his shoulder. “Chanyeol, he told me Baekhyun was over with food.” Sehun huffed with a whine, wrapping his arms around Jongin from behind. “You’re all hanging out without me?” Jongin bit on his bottom lip, turning his head to be nose to nose with him, he felt his eyes watering again.

Sehun was so cute and he wanted to so badly turn around in his arms and kiss him, but Sehun wasn’t his to kiss, he was on his way for a date. He sniffled and turned his head away, clicking off his phone as his back slightly relaxed into the tone chest behind him. “Hey, Jongin, what’s wrong?” Jongin blinked away the tears threatening to spill over before Sehun’s fingers lifted his chin. “Nothing, nothing. Let’s just um, get you ready for your date.” Sehun stared into Jongin’s watery eyes, noticing the faint sniffle coming from his nose. “I’ll cancel a date if you’re not okay, it’s me and you always.” Sehun’s voice was low, thumb gliding over Jongin’s chin.

Jongin was used to this affection from him, but it felt like his thumb was on fire and he was loving the burn from someone who will never be his to have. “Don’t cancel it because of me, Sehun. I know you like dates.” Jongin offered him his best smile, it was a facade of a once happy smile, but he was trying his best to not break down in front of the man he was in love with that he was in love with him. “Are you sure?” Jongin nodded, slow and timid as Sehun started to pull away. “Okay Nini, if you say so.”

He wasn’t sure at all, and he didn’t say so, he nodded and he let that nod be his voice of consent. He wanted Sehun to stay with him and hold him, kiss his cheek and into his hair, across his hairline and tell him he was pretty, like he always did when he was sad. Except he couldn’t tell Sehun he was since he fell in love with him, so that would be why he let Sehun go on this date.

This outfit was soft and sweet, Sehun was dressed in a beige sweater that was form fitting but still loose to his chest. Light blue skinny jeans and combat boots made him look sweet and simple. Jongin wanted to kiss him, run his fingers beneath that sweater and whisper every compliment in the world past those lips, tell Sehun how he meant everything to him, and anything he wanted he would have it if it were in Jongin’s power. Instead, he kissed Sehun on the cheek, told him to call when he was home, and walked out the door to Chanyeol’s.

 

The house smelled like kimchi and grilled beef, any other time the smell would’ve made him smile but now his stomach was coiled in uneasy nausea. Tears were already spilling down his cheeks as he sulked in, shutting the door quietly to not interrupt the two men firing off jokes at one another in the dining room through mouthfuls of food. He wasn’t quiet enough when the door shut, Chanyeol’s loud voice boomed through him, making Jongin wipe quickly down his face with his palms.

“Jonginnie?” He came around the corner and smiled falsely at the other two who had wide smiles. Baekhyun was grinning around a mouthful of beef, eyeing Jongin over. Baekhyun met Sehun first, they all clicked together easily and for some reason, Sehun was never weary of Baekhyun like how he was with Chanyeol. Baekhyun had porcelain skin, fluffy thick yet feather like black hair, droopy crescent eyes, a thin slender face with cherub like cheeks over his high cheekbones, thin lithe pretty hands and fingers that Jongin liked to see on a piano. Everyone knew Jongin was in love with Sehun, it was obvious, stupidly so, so he wasn’t trying to hide it from him. He just didn’t like to cry, and he definitely hated anybody worrying over him. “Hi Jonginnie, how’re you?” Baekhyun asked kindly, swallowing down the food. He felt their eyes hot on him, he looked them both over with a little nod, hands resting on the table. “Fine, and you both?” His voice broke in the middle of the sentence, he cleared his throat and moved his hands to rest over his face.

Two chair noises were pulled out and soon two pairs of arms were tight around him. Jongin stayed still for a few moments as his body finally heaved out the sob he was holding in. “Let it out sweetheart.” Chanyeol spoke lowly into his ear, kissing his temple gently. Jongin couldn’t form words at the moment, tears slicking his hot palms and body shaking out the tears he had been keeping together for the past hour and a half. He couldn’t necessarily cry in the streets, sobbing how he is now where if he opened his eyes it would all be a blur of shapes and lights in the watery vision.

“He held me so close and it all felt so right, and I almost cried to him and he was asking me what was wrong, and he held my face by my chin and had his thumb brushing over it. It all felt so right, it all felt so good, but it wasn’t right or good enough, he’s out with some other boy.” Jongin wasn’t sure if he was unintelligible, but soon he felt the thinner pair of arms pull back for the muscular arms to wrap around him tightly.

He knew they shifted around now, thin fingers brushing through his hair and his legs were spread apart for Chanyeol to kneel between them, arms resting on his legs as his large hands covered his hips. “Move your hands for us, Jonginnie.” Baekhyun quietly commented. The tone of his voice was sad, full of sympathy which he couldn’t find it in himself to feel pathetic that Baekhyun was giving him pity. He moved his hands away to inhale the cool air of the room, meeting his gaze with Chanyeol who was rubbing his hands along Jongin’s side. “I think you need to tell him these feelings, because you hurting like this isn’t okay, darling.” Baekhyun’s phone dinged, one of the hands went away from his hair.

“Sehun asked how you were doing, he’s worried since you looked sad. I’ll just tell him that Chanyeol is taking care of you.” Jongin’s body tensed at that, tilting his head back to look at Baekhyun. “Don’t, he’s kind of weary of Chanyeol doing stuff he does.” Baekhyun lowered his phone down, raising an eyebrow at the two. “Really? Is that why he asks me often about you two?” Jongin’s tears were slowing on his cheeks, lips parted. “He asks about us?” Chanyeol took the wheel for him. “Often. I’m definitely telling him that Chanyeol is taking care of you.” Baekhyun’s thumbs tapped quickly against the skin, the send noise sounded and he clicked off his phone and slid it in his pocket.

“I think he has feelings for you, but he thinks you like Chanyeol, so he goes on dates to try to let you go. Obviously it’s not working, he’s going to drop this guy by the third date watch. Like all the others, and he’ll crawl back to you.” Jongin blinked away the tears, feeling the roaming ones drying against his skin. “No, that’s, that’s dumb.” Chanyeol stood up and sat down in the chair next to Jongin, looking up at Baekhyun. “No, that actually makes sense. He has no reason to dislike me, and we get along fine when he’s all over you or you’re next to him.” Jongin shook his head, standing up to walk over to the couch and crawled on it, throwing a blanket on himself.

“I don’t think so.” Chanyeol and Baekhyun walked over to him, crawling up onto the couch. Chanyeol brought his arms around Jongin, hands resting on his waist with legs spread to let Jongin rest against his chest. “Chanyeol, kiss Jongin in front of Sehun one day, see what he does.” Jongin went to sit up but the tight hold of Chanyeol stopped him. “No, don’t.” Chanyeol’s laugh vibrated through his chest that Jongin had the side of his face pressed to. It was comforting but at the same time it made him sickly nervous.

“Why not?” Jongin tilted his head back, looking up at Chanyeol. “He’s asked if we were a thing, and if he thinks I lied to him, he’ll be really upset. Plus he’ll just dislike you more.” Chanyeol stared down at Jongin, their eyes were dueling out the possible outcomes and of course, Jongin won. “Not happening, Baek.” Baekhyun whined, laying on Jongin’s chest after he spread the boys legs apart. “You both are no fun, oh, selca time for Sehun. Say cheese.”

Jongin put his hands immediately over his tear bruised face and heard the shutter sound of the iPhone. “Why’d you cover your face?” Baekhyun whined. “I look like I’ve been crying, I don’t need him to know.” Jongin moved his hands away, leaning his head back comfortably and closed his eyes. Baekhyun giggled but Jongin ignored it, turning his body a little bit to comfortably nestle into the warm chest beneath him. Chanyeol wasn’t Sehun, he’d love to curl up like this with Sehun.

As much as he appreciated Chanyeol’s generous kindness, Sehun always made him feel better when he was sad. He felt protected being in the toned arms under the warm gentle soft kisses of the other against his forehead, cheeks, down his nose and on certain times his chin. He liked the sweet scent Sehun smelled like, it reminded him of strawberries and lilac flowers. For now though, he needed to be held.

The tinge of sandalwood cologne surrounded him along with Baekhyun’s warmth on his chest, combining with clean linen scent and vanilla. His fingers slightly clinged onto the soft fabric of the t-shirt on the other’s body, letting out a shaky breath. “It’ll be okay, Jonginnie. I promise.” Chanyeol mumbled, and Jongin felt his lips smile at that. He smiled because Chanyeol was still hoping for things to work in Jongin’s favor rather than the obvious. Jongin was in love with Sehun, a man who is his best friend and perfect in every way, and he’ll never be able to have him.

 

He felt the very familiar hand shake him awake, his eyes slowly opened to see Sehun standing over him with a faint smile. “Nini, c’mon. Stay the night with me.” He rubbed his eyes with a little yawn, looking around to see Chanyeol playing with Jongin’s hair. “When did you get here?” His voice was cloaked with tiredness and sleep, his eyes met Chanyeol’s who drowsily smiled down at him. “You fell asleep watching the movie, you didn’t even watch.” Baekhyun chirped in after Chanyeol. “You were upset, Sehun wants to take care of you now.”

Jongin hesitantly nodded, crawling out of the long thin legs to Sehun. He didn’t know where it came from, but he threw his arms around his neck and held him tightly to him, fingers curling into the ends of his hair. He breathed in the scent of strawberries and lilac but now he smelled something else, someone else. The other smell reminded him of baby powder or baby oil soap, something Sehun didn’t smell like when Jongin was over at his apartment today. Before Sehun could even hug Jongin back, he pulled away and bit down on his bottom lip to exhale a shaky breath.

“I’ll go home. I’ll be fine.” He whispered, not trusting his voice to go any louder than that. “Nini, you look really upset just please.” Sehun reached his hand out for Jongin’s, lacing their fingers together. Baekhyun’s spoke up quietly. “Sehun, get him a water for me?” Sehun hesitantly nodded, kissing Jongin’s cheek before pulling away. Baekhyun stood up and went next to Jongin, who was desperately and rapidly blinking tears away. “What is it?” His voice was kind, empathetic. “He smells like him.” Jongin whispered again, looking up at the ceiling as he took in a weak inhale.

Sehun came back over with a glass of water with ice cubes floating in them, Jongin liked the ice, he chewed the ice before actually drinking the water. Tonight though he drank the water with his hand slightly shaking the glass in his grip. “Sehunnie, take him home and get him some rest. Don’t argue with me either I know what’s best.” Sehun looked at Jongin, who’s lips haven’t left the rim of the glass. “Okay, tomorrow though I get you all day and we’ll make you happy.” Jongin nodded and let a fake smile settle on his lips that he knew Sehun saw through.

They walked out of Chanyeol’s house and over to Sehun’s car, Jongin getting into the passenger seat and let his head rest against the window, eyes clearing themselves up now as he looked above at the city lights in contrast with the few strong stars shining through the brightness of the night sky. “You can tell me what’s wrong, you know that right?” Sehun spoke after a few minutes of silence. Jongin lifted his head to turn it and look at Sehun, biting on his bottom lip with worry.

“I know. It’s nothing.” Sehun stopped at a red light, the hue of it coloring his face. “It’s not nothing if you go over to Chanyeol and sleep on him to feel better.” His voice had a bite to it, but it wasn’t in hostility, more of hurt. “I didn’t mean to get upset over there okay? I also didn’t mean to fall asleep on him either, I’m sorry, I’m not replacing you.” His voice broke apart, eyes brimming now but he didn’t stop the tears, he didn’t have enough time. The green color changed on  Sehun’s face as the other sighed out quietly. “I’m sorry, I know you’re not replacing me, I just wish you would tell me what’s going on. You trust me right?”

Jongin nodded, moving his hand to Sehun’s free one, lacing their fingers together. It burned him to the core to hold Sehun’s hand but it all felt so right. Sehun was like something Jongin couldn’t get enough of no matter how hard he tried to ween off him. Sehun was what Jongin needed, he wasn’t toxic, or unhealthy. It was just the side effects of Sehun, the major being not wanting Jongin in return. The way they curled into one another and had their hands tightly pressed against one another, soft kisses pressed to their faces as gentle compliments easily fall from their lips.

Jongin looked at Sehun like he was the only thing that mattered in the world and sometimes Jongin thought Sehun looked at him like that too. Their shared secrets together, small inside jokes they would only have a giggle about together, the way they could have a whole conversation with just a slump of the shoulders or quirk of an eyebrow, they had a sense of when one was looking at the other and they’d make eye contact, etc. Jongin felt like this was his place, to be with Sehun, he just needed Sehun to realize the same things.

“Of course I trust you, Sehun. More than anyone else, it’s really nothing, I’m just sad today. How was your date?” He didn’t want to know, but he knew it must have gone well if whatever the other guy’s name was got his cologne or smell onto Sehun. “Fine, I’m seeing him again Thursday. Help me get ready again?” He looked over to Jongin as they pulled into the driveway of his house, Jongin wanted to shake his head no, he really did, but instead he nodded, mouth dry and smiled. “Yeah, yeah always. Thanks for taking me home.” Sehun giggled, the giggle made Jongin’s weak heart flip in it’s chest like it always did, like nothing was different.  “Always, Nini.” Jongin took out his phone and got out the car, sending Chanyeol a text message. ‘ _Leave your door open Thursday_ .’ and got back an immediate response ‘ _always will._ ’

 

Jongin didn’t leave the house much that weekend, he only left Monday to go to work and other than that he came home. It wasn’t a shock that Sehun, Chanyeol, and Baekhyun all planned a dinner on Tuesday night and Sehun had Baekhyun pick Jongin up since they both lived close by. He was disinterested and zoned out of everything, he acted like every time Sehun went on the golden rule of three dates that it was the first. It was hard to breathe every single time, the world around him was crashing down and simply put, he didn’t care much. He didn’t think much of it when Baekhyun sat next to Sehun, leaving Jongin to sit next to Chanyeol.

He was zoned out in his own world, studying the way the ice cubes floated effortlessly in the water, like the weight of the world wasn’t on them, and how he wished to be able to just float like that. He nodded to questions, and his smiles were false, he didn’t care about anything than being with Sehun. It still hadn’t left his mind that he could smell the other man on him, in fact it drove him insane and made him sick to his stomach that when his food came out he barely touched it, letting is fork poke around at the food in silence. His eyes were watery, mouth was dry, heart was throbbing in it’s normal state of dull pain that felt numbing to the rest of his body.

“Jonginnie?” Chanyeol murmured in his ear, he turned his head and looked at the other, noses slightly bumping into one another. He answered with a hum and felt Chanyeol’s hand rest on the back of Jongin’s neck, brushing through the ends of his hair. “You okay?” Chanyeol hadn’t ever been this affectionate with Jongin, staring at him like this, and he definitely never did it in front of Sehun. “Fine.” His eyes told a different story of sadness, want and desire that couldn’t be returned. “I can’t take seeing you like this anymore.” His voice was low, Jongin looked over at the other two and saw them talking and looking at something on Baekhyun’s phone, waiting for the check to come out, he looked back to Chanyeol. “I’ll be okay, I promise.” He offered the other a faint smile, especially when his fingers pushed his left parted black hair away from his eyes. “You two are awfully close.” Sehun commented, stoic. Jongin moved back a little bit, clearing his throat. “He was just checking on me.” Chanyeol nodded, folding his hands beneath his chin. “Yeah, that.”

They paid and split it three ways since Chanyeol paid for Jongin despite the weak protests from him. Chanyeol stuck close to Jongin, walking in front of the other two until they stopped at the door, Chanyeol’s hands holding the door together. “Chanyeol, what are you doing?” Jongin asked, leaning himself against the door to try to push it open, hand resting on Chanyeol’s forearm. “I’ve been wanting to do this for a long time, and I’m sorry I’m doing it now.”

Jongin felt Chanyeol’s warm and large hands cradle his face with ease, he didn’t know what was going on, his eyes were wide as he looked up at Chanyeol. “What’re you doing?” Jongin whispered quietly, hand gripping hard on Chanyeol’s forearm. Chanyeol only smiled, dipping his head down for their lips to be brushing over each other. “Trust me.” Chanyeol’s lips pressed to Jongin’s, his lips were slightly chapped against his full plush soft ones, he heard Baekhyun gasp out of pleasure and shock, and Jongin stood shocked with his eyes closed to make it less awkward for himself, he didn’t know what to do, his body was tense and filled with shock of what to even make from the situation at hand.

Chanyeol pulled away, kissing Jongin’s cupid's bow before letting go of Jongin’s face, eyes scanning around before pushing open the door. Jongin blinked his eyes open and allowed himself to finally take a full breath. “What, what just happened?” He asked quietly, eyes turning to meet the cold ones of Sehun. He was glaring at Jongin, hands tightly wound into his shirt, lips pressed firmly in a line. “Sehun,” Jongin started, but Sehun shook his head. “Don’t come over Thursday. I don’t need you.”

Sehun pushed past Jongin, grabbing Baekhyun’s wrist and went to Baekhyun’s car. Jongin with parted lips stood as he watched the man he loved get in the car with Baekhyun and drive off. “Jongin, I’m sorry, I wanted to try out Baekhyun’s plan because you don’t deserve this hurt, and maybe hurting him will do something.” Chanyeol’s voice was so nervous and scared, Jongin looked up at him through wet lashes and wet eyes, shaking his head. “I understand. Um, you’re not a bad kisser. Will you take me home?” Chanyeol nodded, breathing out in relief and let Jongin climb into his Jeep to take him home.

Sehun didn’t answer a single one of Jongin’s texts or calls, Sehun was probably only mad that he thought Jongin was lying to him about Chanyeol and him not being a thing, but his heart was hurting. It felt like now it was an open wound finally closing that just got ripped open over and over, he was being ignored, he didn’t get to explain anything to Sehun, he wasn’t getting a chance to either, he was being ignored. He curled into his bed, the other side empty as he held his body pillow close to his body. Tears stained the fabric, fingers clutching in to it tightly until his phone rang. It wasn’t Sehun’s ringtone so he was disappointed but it was Baekhyun’s. He answered it, voice stuffy.

“Hello?” “Jonginnie, I’m sorry, I came up with a really bad plan. He doesn’t hate you, he can’t even properly tell me why he’s upset. I’m still at his house, he hasn’t touched his phone all night, he seems really upset and hurt. Please don’t cry, I’ll fix it okay?” Jongin hummed, sniffling as more tears fell down his face. “Can you tell Chanyeol to come here? I can’t see too well, tell him where the spare key is.” Baekhyun giggled into the phone. “Yes I’ll tell the giant to pay you a visit. I’m sorry, again.” It was about thirty minutes that he heard the front door open, then shut, lock, shoes hit the floor, padding of barefeet against it and then a dip in the bed.

“Hey, sweetheart.” Jongin broke out a sob, throwing the body pillow on the floor as he curled up in Chanyeol’s chest. Arms wrapping tightly around the gangly male as his fingers held onto the shirt for dear life, like it was his life support. Tears escaping his eyes with no restraint or stopping them, loud sobs muffled by his chest. Chanyeol had one arm tight around his body, the other hand running through his hair, legs tangled together. “He’s gone, he hates me, he’s gone.” Jongin whimpered out, struggling to take a breath since his lungs felt like they were stuck in tight cages. “He’s not gone, he doesn’t hate you. I know he’ll be back and he loves you more than you know.”

Chanyeol’s voice was gentle and sweet, it slightly relaxed Jongin from his loud sobs, making the tight cages have more wiggle for him to inhale some more air than rushed hectic pants. “Stay.” Jongin croaked out, voice hoarse from the crying, breathing slowing down, curling into his chest. “Always.” Jongin felt like Sehun would never come back, that from now on and forever he’d have to get used to Chanyeol. The man was warm, breathing was slow and steady, he wasn’t Sehun, but Sehun could possibly be gone forever, so Chanyeol will have to be where Jongin will sleep.

 

Thursday went by, silence still. Jongin didn’t hear about Sehun’s date from anyone, Baekhyun couldn’t get details. Baekhyun said it seemed like Sehun stood the guy up, but he was too vague to tell. Jongin was either at Chanyeol’s house or Chanyeol was over at his, this was normal for them to be at one another’s, but it was new for Jongin to cry everyday (which Jongin has apologized profusely for and Chanyeol insists every single time that it's okay, and he means it) in Chanyeol’s arms, fall asleep in them, and repeat. The silence drug on until next Thursday, Jongin was miserable coming home from work.

Usually he loved his job but today it wasn’t doing him any good. He missed Sehun more than words could ever say, actions couldn’t describe it either, only an immeasurable thing could fathom how much Jongin missed Sehun and that was the way his heart was at a slow burn of rolling fire of desire for Sehun to just speak to him. He entered the house, sniffling quietly as he wiped at his eyes, grumbling about how he should stop crying about Sehun and that’s why his eyes hurt all the time. He kicked off his shoes, dropped his jacket on the coat rack and rubbed hard at his eyes one last time before taking a shaky breath. He swerved on his heels and let a faint yelp pass his lips at the sight of Sehun sitting on the couch in one of Jongin’s hoodies. He looked perfect, huddled in the oversized hoodie, sweatpants adorning his legs and hair askew.

“Sehun?” Jongin’s voice broke out, looking over at the pretty man on his couch. “Why didn’t you tell me about you and Chanyeol?” Sehun started, cold as ever even if his facial expressions showed sadness and want. “Because there is no me and Chanyeol.” Sehun rolled his eyes with a scoff, eyes narrowing at Jongin. “Please, he kissed you. You expect me to believe that crock of shit?” Jongin’s hands were starting to sweat, eyes brimming with water. “I haven’t lied to you before.” His voice sounded small, he barely moved from the front door but his eyes made burning eye contact with Sehun. “Okay then why did he kiss you? Why is he so protective of you? Why does he touch you? Why did you sleep on him? Why does he make sure you’re okay and check on you all the time? Why does he look over at you when we’re all together to see if you’re okay? Huh? Why?”

Sehun’s voice got louder and angrier with every word, Jongin was shaking now. He was terrified, but he knew now he’d have to spill or he’d lose Sehun forever on the account of lying even though he wasn’t lying.

“I’m in love with you. He kissed me because they both thought you disliked him because you thought him and I were a thing and I wasn’t aware they were doing it until after. He’s protective because when you on your dates, I go to him and end up crying until I calm down and fall asleep. He checks on me because I get sad and I start to cry or shut down or something. He touches me because we’re just close like that but when he plays with my hair it’s because I’m upset, and you know that. It’s all because I’m in love with you, I don’t know when I started to fall in love with you, where I start and where I end because I’ve completely intertwined myself to you that I’ve lost myself.”

Jongin paused, breath shaky and hands tightly wound. “I love you, I’m in love with you, he takes care of me when I’m sad because I get you ready for dates when it should be me you’re going on a date with, not some stranger. I didn’t go home with you that night because I could smell the other guy on you.” Tears were falling down his face now,  he saw Sehun’s tears, staining his milky skin with light red streams. “I smelled him on you and I couldn’t imagine myself laying next to you when you didn’t smell like you. I never lied to you, I kept why I was sad from you but I’m sorry. I was scared to lose you, and if I lose you now, at least I lost you over the truth.”

Jongin let the tears fall from his eyes, lips pursed in a tight line as his eyes were squeezed shut. He heard Sehun’s shoes walk over to him, hands now cradling his face “open your eyes, Nini.” Jongin exhaled shortly from his nostrils, eyes opening to meet Sehun’s. “I went on those dates because I thought you didn’t love me back. I didn’t know I was hurting you this bad, I had you get me ready for dates so I could feel like it would be going with you, but it was never the same. I didn’t mean to smell like Junmyeon, in fact, I stood him up last week. Seeing Chanyeol kiss you like that felt like someone took a searing hot knife and sliced my heart in two. I feel like I need to thank him and send him a cake for taking care of you while I’ve been being a dick to him. I’m so sorry. I love you, Jongin, I’m in love with you.”

Jongin’s hands found Sehun’s face, a smile growing on his lips as he sniffled and brushed his thumbs against the thin cheeks. “I love you too.” Sehun leaned forward, their eyes fluttering shut as their lips met in a kiss. The kiss had depth and a slow passion as their lips moved together. Jongin’s mind was exploding with happiness at the pretty pink lips he’s fantasized about so many times were finally against his own, and softer than he ever imagined. Their kiss didn’t last too long, but it was enough for the both of them to get closure. Their foreheads were rested against one another, lips curled into warm happy smiles. “I love you, Sehunnie.” Jongin commented through Sehun kissing his cupid’s bow then chin, just how Jongin liked. “I love you too, Jonginnie.”

 

* * *

 

“I’m sorry for being a dick to you constantly, and I’d really like to start over.” Sehun said quietly, fingers laced together as Jongin sat next to his boyfriend, best friend across from them. Chanyeol smiled his signature goofy smile, hands holding his chin up as he shrugged. “It’s okay Sehun, I’d like if we started over too.” Baekhyun groaned out dramatically, cupping his face with his hands. “About time. I’m also really happy you’re both finally together, I’ve been wanting this to happen since I met you both.” Baekhyun smiled, the two exchanged a fond look with one another.

Jongin was on cloud nine, it had been three weeks since the two confessed, they jumped into dating after four dates crammed into a week since Jongin wanted to beat the three date golden rule. Sehun thought it was cute, they both picked out outfits for one another every night, making out against the body mirror at Sehun’s or closet door at Jongin’s. They were happy, Jongin was happy. It wasn’t much different from their friendship except now if he wanted to lean over and kiss Sehun he could, and no one could take Sehun on a date besides Jongin which is something he really liked. He leaned over and pressed a chaste kiss to Sehun’s lips, smiling up at him . “Me too.”

**Author's Note:**

> I hope you all enjoyed, the ending isn't my favorite but like I wanted to at least have a cute sappy ending. Also I finished this at 4 AM I did not edit at all


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